There haven't been a lot of blog posts here, I'm missing it but... I feel out of it. I feel very unbalanced. I know that I am not actively working towards my goals for the year, month or 25before26 the way I thought I would. I knew this a month ago - a very long month - when I wrote it out as a goal. I'm frustrated. I've stopped tracking my training, my eats and it's probably why I didn't do FOUR goals for the FOURTH month yet. Gah. I don't want to whine, but I do want to get this frustration off my chest and writing it out seems like a great way.
Update: I started writing this on Friday and today, Monday, I'm feeling much more positive. It was probably the warm weekend and productivity in the yard and good times with loved ones. Whatever the reason, I'll take it. I feel refreshed and ready for this week!
But we're still going to go here... my sources of frustration:
working out sucks up my free time . I'm slow to get into the gym, slow on the treadmill, and slow to get dressed. It takes longer than it seems it should. When I work out once I get home I just want to sit and stare. So when I work 50 feet from the gym and get out of work at 4:30 it seems like I could get home by 6:30 not 7. What am I supposed to do when Green Friday's start and I don't get out until 5:30 not get home till 8?! Boo. Thank goodness for Wellness time. I thought working out was supposed to give me more energy. I'm not there yet. I do feel the changes, and I need to focus on them.
not keeping my house tidy/lack of organization . When I get home I drop my stuff and sit instead of preparing for tomorrow. My laundry doesn't get completely finished on the weekends. I can't find my workout socks. It's not easy to step into the kitchen and cook. I worry that Matt gets frustrated by it. It's tidier than it has been, but not where I would like it to be.
cooking fewer yummy meals than I'd like. . see above, cluttered kitchen, boo. Also cooking is kind of overwhelming - picking a recipe, having all the ingredients, the time it takes and unsuccessful attempts. If I just take a breath, get the ingredients organized and read through a recipe before I start it's so satisfying!
time on my own . All the time I get to spend with my love is fantastic, don't get me wrong, but I sometimes wonder how much I'm missing the time I spend on my own. It's been about six weeks since our last day apart and I love it, I do. But I wonder if I'd feel more balanced with an evening to myself, one human heartbeat in the house. Matt and I talked about this Sunday, and I feel better getting it off my chest. I didn't want to blindside him with, well I really don't want to see you tonight, and he totally gets it. Thank goodness.
lack of balance . This all comes down to my word of the year, balance. I think I can do it all, if I balance it out - one or two recipes a week, one night alone once a week or every two weeks (or when needed), better time management of workouts and tidying the house each evening. It sounds so simple and this month I hope to consciously work towards these goals.
FOUR GOALS FOR THE FOURTH MONTH
ONE. Actively work to feel more balance, make a daily list of goals and must do's when needed.
TWO. Bringing this forward from March: KEEP IT TIDY/FINISH ORGANIZING/Get my home ready for Matt to move in!
THREE. Make and stick to an official budget.
FOUR. When there's sun, get some freakin' sun!/Get outside when it's over 50. 45?
And how did I do in March? ONE. KEEP IT TIDY/FINISH ORGANIZING. Mediocre. TWO. MORE SPECIAL DATE NIGHTS. I'd like to think so. THREE. WORK ON/REEVALUATE/PRIORITIZE MY LISTS Not so good, will work on it more this month.
Check out: Elsie's post on finding time to have a life.
Well this sure is a lot of words for a Monday... so here's a nice reminder.