worry. happy.

“Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? How did they work out? Didn’t you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them? Didn’t most of them turn out all right after all?”  Dale Carnegie (via the messes i make)

2009. finding a job in within 5.5 hours of home.
2008. finding a job and apartment in new york.
2007. finding a job in bay city.
2006. ending work at delphi. enjoying the summer, getting ready to travel with mom.
2005. being newly single.

well that's not what i excpected it to be. i didn't realize for the past three springs i have been job hunting. or that this is my first fully employed spring of my 24 years. this is my first spring when big changes aren't taking place. i'm trying to find a balance of work, friendship and self.

when are you happiest?

some answers from friends:

When I'm by myself being quiet. 

When I'm on an adventure, learning something new, discovering. 

When my kitty is so happy to see me, after an ass kicking workout, shopping and snuggling with someone special.

I absolutely identify with all those, but most of all by myself, being quiet. At least, right now, I think that's what I need to focus on the most. Because I much as I think I know what I want, sometimes I realize that I'm not really sure. I'm pretty good at doing that and think I need to start making more of it.

six things

six things i want to accomplish this june.

1. wash walls and paint main floor a lovely color or two. or five.
2. stick to my budget.
3. decorate my home.
4. learn to use my grill and lawnmower and make a fire in my firebowl.
5. drink more water.
6. keep my house picked up and dusted.

holy june where did you come from?!

oh life, where have you gone with the first five months of twenty ten? i'm oh so happy it's june, and i certainly don't want to go back but "holy june where did you come from?!"

and as it is june first i spent the last few hours of may thinking about what i wanted my words to be and how i did with may's. well i don't think i'm super pleased with may but i'll write about that tomorrow. today is about looking forward.

JUNE

. Just . Update . Now . Enjoy .

Just . breathe, be, relax. don't over think. just take in the moment. enjoy it Now. i'm such an over thinker and i really just almost missed an opportunity because of it. and Now i'm here Just Enjoying it. i'm hoping it'll keep going, wherever that is. i'm Just along for the ride.

Update . paint, wood, color, natural, art. putting some of my style on to the walls of my home. the wood was uncovered in may and now the yellow and orange will soon cover the white. it will feel like my place in so many more ways. i think i will do a little etsy art window shopping soon. and maybe make some purchases.


Now . don't overplan the house, don't over think the path, don't get distracted by the unimportant. just be here Now, and focus on what you can accomplish today, in this moment, in this month. tonight i'm going to go home and make a list of all the things that i want to do in my house. and then i will figure out what i can do between now and seven*eleven and the big two*five.

Enjoy . sensing a theme? don't worry, Just Enjoy. maybe if i focus on one task, of having a fully enjoyable month right here and Now. i'll come back in july feeling relieved that i finally accomplished my goals for the month. let's hope! relieved and refreshed and ready to turn twenty-five. 

 
(so perfect)

well

i updated my blog. i love the white. i just wish i could find a wider template. it seems so narrow.

mixtape monday! i adore this song.

one of my first cd's had this song on it. <3 iwill alway be a child at heart, and i adore imagination. i strive for it.

love, kate

fall in love

I saw this on my main page of facebook from a film networking acquaintance. He says, "In NYC and la I fall in love 20x a day I am fickle that way in Milwaukee once or twice a year" I'm happy to report I can fall in love with Michigan the way I would when I saw something special (or ordinary) in New York. and i do it just as often. I'm going to start documenting it more. i promise.

kudos

love, kate

play + record

i would never claim to be cool enough - actually i probably would claim NOT COOL enough - to participate in music monday's. my musical knowledge is just not interesting enough. when i find a song or artist i like i play them into the ground. but i can totally get into this:

mix tape monday! i have a totally fond memory of the step-sis and i sitting in the walk-in closet at the (first) lake house making a mix tape for a certain boy she liked. how sweet.

making a "soundtrack of my life" was one of the first things i put on my lifelist. and since that day two years ago i've only added two songs.

so drum roll please!!!

"bitch" - i'm me and no one else, "take me as i am". i can be moody. i can be a bitch. some days.



love, kate

choose

today it's rainy and oh so cold in michigan, and it's dramatically effecting my mood. i made plans with a friend before i slid into this glumness that's striking me at the moment and seriously considered backing out. but i was reading sometimes sweet and she said, "There are definitely days when I actually decide to have a shitty day- I do not choose happiness, and in a way I almost give in to the negative emotions that are always swirling around in my brain."

i know i do that way to often, instead of actively trying to be positive and change my mood i just give in. today i'm not going to give in!

somedays, the pink tights and flowered dress moments aren't right in front of me, but they are just around the corner. 
  or
i would never say my life is hard, but sometimes it's not perfectly easy. 

love, kate